Today’s 20- and 30-somethings seem to be living the good life. Instead of being tied down by marriage, a house or kids, they’re free to roam as they please.

Ah, youth is bliss, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, recent studies prove otherwise. Rather than being free from responsibility, many young adults feel hesitant about moving forward—even though that’s what they want to do.

Waiting for the Right Reasons Is Wise

It’s true that big, life-changing decisions like marriage are best reserved for people who are ready. You know, after you’ve found that special someone and you’re emotionally prepared for lifelong commitment. Similarly, you should only buy a house when you can afford one. You remember the rules: Get out of debt and save enough money for at least 10% down on a 15-year mortgage with a payment no greater than 25% of your monthly take-home pay.

And kids … well, no one’s ever really ready for kids.

So what’s the problem?

Just the Facts

While most consumer debts have decreased since 2007, one debt continues to climb: student loans. On average, students leave college with $27,000 in loans—and the top 1% owe more than $150,000.

But student loans aren’t the only number that’s climbing. Since 2007, the average age of marriage is also on the rise—up from 27.5 to 28.7 for men and from 25.6 to 26.5 for women. Conversely, fertility rates and home ownership among young adults continues to drop.

Could it be that debt is shaping our cultural norms when it comes to getting married, buying a home, and starting a family?

The Borrower Really Is Slave to the Lender

Despite the fact that college-educated women statistically have a better shot at getting married, women who take out student loans to obtain that education are at a disadvantage. Saddled with debt, they’re now less likely to enter matrimony than women who are free from debt.

Experts suggest that some women are putting off marriage until they pay down student loans and some men are reluctant to ask for a lady’s hand if it also means taking hold of her debt. Of course, a lot of those same guys are weighed down by debt themselves.

As a result, many young adults are moving back in with family, sharing a home with friends, or renting an apartment with their significant other. Oftentimes it’s not the glamorous story of youth we see portrayed on TV. More likely, it’s a desperate attempt to manage the chaos of student loan repayment. Debt is derailing the plans of a generation.

What to Do If That’s You

Sure, some young adults aren’t looking to get married, own a home, or have kids right now—and that’s okay! But others do want to move forward and simply feel stuck by student loans. If you and your honey find yourselves in a similar situation, follow these tips:

1. Be honest with each other about exactly how much and what kinds of debt you owe.
2. Prove that you’re serious about taking care of your debt by making a big dent in itbefore you discuss marriage.
3. Talk openly about how you will get rid of any remaining debt once you do get married.

Studies show that money is the top cause of conflict among couples who are planning a wedding, newly married, or hoping to start a family. Knowing this is half the battle. So go ahead and be proactive! Talk regularly about any money issues between the two of you. Then move forward with confidence! If you can work together to tackle this, you guys can handle anything.

Family #1 manages to pay off $40,000 in debt in two years on a $35,000 annual income. Family #2 makes $100,000 a year but can’t seem to make the slightest dent in the same amount of debt.

Why is that?

Obviously, the second family has a spending problem. They make plenty of money—more than enough to pay off that debt in two years. But they have so much money going out, they can’t keep their head above water. Whether it’s in the form of an overbearing mortgage, credit cards, a hefty car payment or just making poor choices like eating out every night, their debt keeps them from making progress.

So all of their income gets sucked up by other stuff, which leaves them making minimum payments on their debts and never gathering any momentum. It’s a difficult, stressful way to live.

At some point, people who become debt-free decide that enough is enough. Their old lifestyle wasn’t working, and they’re ready to make some serious changes. It’s like they have a personality change, but that’s not what really happens. All they are doing is rediscovering aspects of their personality that have always been there.

So what are some of these traits of people who get debt-free?

They are wise.

People who decide to ditch debt for good realize that debt isn’t a tool. While theirFICO score may go down, their net worth goes up. They treat debt like it’s a skin disease—which isn’t a bad idea. Don’t you wish you could wipe away debt with a little Benadryl cream?

They are patient.

Someone who really wants out of debt can walk right past the shoe aisle or the flat-screen TV aisle without blinking. Why? Because they know all of that stuff can wait.Impulsive, impatient purchases are debt’s best friend.

They are confident.

People who are getting out of debt don’t care what others think. You know you’re on the right track when your broke friends are making fun of you. Getting out of debt can require drastic lifestyle changes, which means you’ll never succeed if you aren’t mentally prepared and confident in your decision to find financial peace.

They are goal-driven.

No-brainer, right? Getting out of debt is a goal in itself, so of course people who want to get out of debt are goal-oriented. But the catch here is that these people do more than just set goals—they map out how they plan to get there. That’s what Dave’s Baby Steps are all about—small goals that lead to the one giant goal of being debt-free!

They are responsible.

Getting out of debt takes a sense of responsibility and maturity—two traits that match up well with patience. And maturity has nothing to do with age. Some 50 year olds still treat money the same way they did when they were 20. They just have more of it now. When you’re responsible, you want to get out of debt as fast as possible so you can begin saving, putting money into a college fund, investing, and paying off the mortgage early.

They are not materialistic.

Becoming debt-free isn’t about stocking a garage full of cars and living in an eight-bedroom house. The purpose is to change your family tree for generations to come, helping others along the way. Materialism can affect any of us—rich or poor. It’s all about how much importance we place on stuff.

They are willing to make sacrifices.

Eating out. Cable. Going to movies every week. These are the types of things that might have to go while you’re getting out of debt. But keep in mind: Budget cuts are just temporary. When you’re debt-free, you can begin slowly adding those things back into your lifestyle.

The bottom line? You have to be motivated and do something about it over time.

If you want to get out of debt, you can get out of debt—no matter how much money you owe. Even if you don’t think you’re particularly strong in all of these characteristics, you’ll be amazed at how your perception of “wants” and “needs” will change once you start the Baby Steps.

When you’re motivated, passionate and even a little angry, you’re more than willing to do whatever is needed to find financial peace. Everything else will take care of itself.

Christmas is a perfect example.

We know it’s coming. We know when it comes. And yet it sometimes takes a panicked look across the Thanksgiving dinner table to realize that we should have started saving earlier in the year for it. We reach for the credit card, which is sitting in the wallet or purse with a wicked grin and a sky-high interest rate, saying, “I knew you’d come crawlin’ back!”

Why run your household spending plan like that? Why risk busting your budget every November when you can put time on your side by creating a sinking fund? It’s not complicated, and you can start right away.
With a sinking fund, you save a small amount each month for a certain amount of timebefore you make your purchase. You determine how much you save by taking the total amount to be spent and dividing it by the number of months you have left until you must pay.

For example, if you want to spend $1,000 on Christmas and it’s April, that leaves you about eight months to save. Just put a line item into your budget that you want to stash away $125 per month until December.

You can do this with any major purchase or bill. If the cost for car insurance is $500 every six months, then save $83 a month as soon as you pay for the latest insurance coverage. If we get into February and you want to spend $50 or $75 on someone who is going to graduate from high school or college in the spring, then set 15 or 20 bucks aside each month until the big day.

Sinking Fund vs. Savings Account: What’s the Difference?

The answer is, not much. A sinking fund is usually more specific than a savings account since you know how much you are going to put in there and when you will use it. A savings account could just be a place where you put money until you need it.

If you prefer to keep your sinking-fund money in a simple savings account, that’s fine. If you do this, make sure the account doesn’t have a minimum balance to maintain (such as a money market). You don’t want your money eaten away by fees.

Sinking Fund vs. Emergency Fund

A sinking fund is also different from an emergency fund because an emergency fund is money set aside for the unknown. With an emergency fund, you might save $10,000 for a Murphy visit, and a year later get into a car wreck. You had no way of knowing the accident was coming or when it would happen, but you have the money set aside for this “life event.”

With a sinking fund, you know what the money is for and you know (about) when you are going to use it. If you want to buy a $6,000 car and are saving $500 a month into a sinking fund, you know that you’ll use the money in one year, and you know what you’ll use it on. The sinking fund is for the known; the emergency fund is for the unknown.

Where Do You Keep a Sinking Fund?

You want to have a sinking fund in a place where you can easily get to it. The bigger the amount, the more secure you want it. If you are saving $25 a month for four months so you can buy a birthday gift for someone, it’s probably all right to keep an envelope hidden somewhere in your home (though you must make sure you don’t cheat by spending the money on late-night pizzas).

But if you are saving for a car and have hundreds or even thousands of dollars lying around, a simple savings account at the bank is probably a better idea. You can get to it easily, and you don’t risk having a pile of cash lying around if someone breaks into the house.

Sound easy? It is. So why don’t more people do it? Because it involves something that many of them haven’t mastered: patience. We live in a culture where we buy now. We bring an item home today. It’s not enough to wait for standard shipping, so we opt for express. That usually costs extra.

If, instead, you have patience and a plan, then a lot of the cost and worry associated with big purchases goes away. Credit cards and banks are counting on you not planning ahead of time so they can catch your slack and ding you with interest charges and fees. Saving up ahead of time prevents those charges as well as the stress that comes with big buys, so put that line item in your budget and ditch the worry. No budget? It’s never too late to start. Try the Gazelle Budget tool free for seven days.